Wednesday, April 4, 2012

At Sunset

Last night, surrounded by his family, Ransom passed away.  The swelling in his brain overwhelmed him and there was nothing more to be done.  All day friends and family streamed into his room to say their peace and wish him well on his journey.  When the nurse indicated it was time his wife and children went in to join him and I stayed in the waiting room with Tim and Rose's kids.  We told some stories and ended up just chatting about life.  One of their daughters went to make a phone call and ended up on the 8th floor where there was a nice view.  She said she watched the beautiful sunset and she knew.

Eventually we collected everything from the waiting room and made our way to the lobby of the hospital and there in the lobby was a big choir, singing hymns. Very poignant. It was a little funny that when I left I ended up in the elevator with an older couple that I didn't know.  The lady said something along the lines of "doesn't that music make you want to go to a better place"  I just kind of laughed to myself.  It was all so fitting.  Ransom wanted to go to a better place and he's the kind of guy that finds a way to get what he wants.

His ICU nurse told his daughters that a lot of people pass without visitors like this and she found it touching that he was surrounded by so much love.  It's a testament to the impact he made on so many people.  More than he knew. 

Our love goes out to his wife, kids, grandkids, great grandkids and extended friends and family he touched so deeply over the years. It's never easy to lose a loved one but there is relief in knowing that he is no longer suffering and he has moved on to his next adventure.

A friend of his from his Vietnam Vet group said something yesterday that touched me.  He said we spend a lot of time and energy dealing with and planning for things that are uncertain.  Vacations, jobs, possessions, etc but we don't spend much time planning for things that are inevitable, like death.  Maybe if we spend a little more time preparing ourselves for that inevitability it would make it easier as we'd know how to handle it.  I'm not sure what that looks like although I suppose in our situation we ARE planning for death and in some ways it does make it easier but I'm not sure "easy" is ever a word we'll associate with end of life. We just do the best with what we have.

We did make a decision yesterday though... none of us want to walk this particular road again right now so David is under strict orders to keep improving.  He agreed that's a solid plan.  I should make him pinky swear

1 comment:

  1. Marla, this is so beautiful and I am so grateful that you have this gift with words. I haven't been posting comments on here because not only do I talk to you almost every day but I thought I had to go through some sign up process (I don't know why I thought that) and I just couldn't deal with yet another thing. But after reading this just now, it seemed important for anyone who reads this to know how special it is to me.

    I am grateful beyond words for you and Dave, for our time together, and for all the time we shared together with my dad. Ali has pictures of that sunset on her phone and I hope we can get one to post on here soon. I am so glad she saw it because I would have never known. I love you. Thank you for being there.