Friday, June 8, 2012

Staying Busy

Tuesday was Jesse's Celebration of Life.  I capitalized it on purpose. It was really nice.  Uplifting, loving, sad and funny and everything it should have been.  At the end of the service everyone gathered outside with balloons decorated with message and we let them go all at once.  This is a picture my aunt and uncle took. 

 There was also a firetruck that came to lead the way from the church to the cemetery.  Holly sat in front with Jesse's American flag decorated urn and they turned on the lights and sirens one last time for him at the cemetery.  It was very cool.  My dad and I also got to ride in the truck and I appreciate being able to share that moment.   It's touching knowing that Jesse had been in that fire truck before because his classmate's dad has the hookup.  A million thank yous to the Andersons for making it happen.  Really.

After laying him to rest a hawk flew low and let out a big screech.  It had been pretty silent up until that moment.  I imagine at times like this people look for symbolism in everything... but seriously... screeching hawk! It was a very cool moment. I feel blessed to have been a part of his life and to see how many other lives he touched.  It's overwhelming in a good way.  Oh that reminds me.  There is a fund set up at Northwest Community Credit Union for Jesse Lyle Hernandez.  Donations can be made there and all the money will be used to fund some type of program in the area for needy kids because in Jesse’s words, “that’s what I do."  I can't wait to see what can be done. 

Owen has been doing pretty well.  He is sad of course but he's back at school and the routine helps him get through the day.  He had a band concert tonight and they did a great job.  Hopefully they will have video up soon.  I'm glad he actually went to the concert since he missed the choir concert.  I don't blame him one bit for missing it since it was the same day as the memorial.  After the concert we got blizzards, as is tradition (doggonit! I just realized mine and Dave's are still in the freezer and we completely forgot about them!.... *facepalm*) and in the car Owen was cracking me up like crazy.  We were having a discussion about his style.  Not his fashion because as he puts it, he's not IN FASHION but he definitely has a style.  This is true.  He gives not one care about what other people think about what he wears and the stranger he can be the better. I love this about him. To his band concert he wore his suit and Dave's Tigger tie and he tried to wear a hat that's a little too small for his head these days, which I nixed... then we got there and there was a kid in a similar hat.  I felt kind of bad about nixing it but seriously, his hair is huge these days and it really didn't fit.  Poor kid, mom ruining all his fun. 

David is doing ok.  Yesterday he had the IV chemo treatment.  We were fully prepared to talk to the dr about how much longer he would be doing chemo and the dr said he didn't think it would be a good idea to make any big decisions right now.  Hmm.... good point.  I guess that's why he gets paid the big bucks.  He suggested that he wanted to "get dave through this treatment" and then talk about it next time.  He gave Dave extra saline and some steroids to help with the nausea and to help his appetite.  His INR level (blood thickness) was at 3.3.  EEK! Last time it was 1.8 and there was no med changes but we think it's because he hasn't been eating.  So they reduced that medication for the time being and we're basically just trying to get him through the week.  He's a lot more comfortable after getting that extra fluid and steroids.  His edema isn't as bad as it was although after being in the chair two days in a row... for the service and the chemo treatment... yeah, he's ready to be in bed for a few days!  Poor guy, he was so wiped out.  I hope things are status quo for him for a bit.  I don't know what I'd do if things go downhill quickly for him.  I mean I know Owen and I would be alright but it would just be a lot harder than it has to be.  Not that any of this is not hard but I think you know what I mean.

I'll be so happy to have a couple of quiet, uneventful days although this last week or so has probably been good that we've been busy.  Keeps us pre-occupied.  Although, the more bad things that happen the more grateful I get for the things that are good.  It's not really because I'm trying to find them, it's more like a survival instinct.  If I don't look for the silver lining I would go crazy with self-pity.  That's a road I can't afford to travel.  It's kind of amazing how easy it is to find peace right now, with just about everything.  Not EVERYTHING! I'm no superwoman, but I've gotten a lot more understanding and forgiving and patient.  I don't expect that to last forever.  HA!  In finding the good things I've had a few friends lately kind of come out of the woodwork.  Some I have talked to for years that I've come to appreciate more lately, some who I haven't talked to in years but have reconnected in unexpected and very welcome ways.  I appreciate all of it and I don't take any of it for granted.

One of the things that struck me about Jesse's service was the videos.  I found some videos I took of him and shared with my family and in the process I found videos that I forgot we had taken over the years. I started thinking how sad it is that we sometimes wait to share the silly moments or favorite pictures until after someone is gone.  It also made me realize that I don't want to wait until Dave passes to go through all the pictures on our computers to choose which ones I want to share at a funeral.  Why wait when we have time now to reminisce and choose the ones we love together.  Especially since Dave isn't exactly keen on new pictures right now, he doesn't want us to remember him like this in such a tangible way. So while we go through this process I thought I'd start occasionally sharing pictures or video so you can giggle with us.

This was from Valentine's Day weekend a few years ago when we went to a cabin in Camp Sherman.  Valentine's Day, Owen's birthday and President's Day long weekend all fall around the same time so we liked to take a trip when we could.  This year in particular the sledding was good but off to the left was a creek..... disaster almost ensued.  David was so proud of himself for that one.  Hahahaha

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