Halloween: The Cute Story

This year the kids were allowed to dress up in costumes for school. In years past they weren't allowed.  Owen decided to be a shadow and wore all black. We told him he couldn't wear that out trick or treating because it was too dangerous. (all black at night? recipe for disaster!) He said he could wear it with reflective strips and be the teenaged child of helicopter parents... har har. Clever little brat. lol  I told him he could do that if he wanted but just to think about it and let me know after school.  While he was gone I thought maybe he could be Dr Who.  He's a BIG FAN and Dave has a jacket that fits Owen that works perfectly. When he got home and agreed to that choice I made a bow tie and a fez for him really quickly (good thing I'm crafty) and he was ready to go. He was going trick or treating with Josie (who introduced him to Dr Who) and it turns out that she had kind of a rough day as one of her wigs got played with too much at school and fell apart. Serious tragedy in the cosplay (costume play) world she lives in. So Owen got to her house and she took one look at him and freaked out and changed her costume to the female character from Dr Who, Amy Pond. She just happened to have a wig appropriate for that, too! It made her night which in turn made Owen's night. It's always nice to be able to cheer up a friend! Then there they were in themed costumes ready for the candy collecting! They met up with some other friends and had a good night.  I love this picture to pieces.  Their costumes, their body language, all 8 years of their friendship shows through.Owen is lucky to have a friend like her who gets his quirks and plays along and I'm happy that her mom, Laura, and I have become such good friends over the years. We're so thankful to those special ladies and don't know what we'd do without them! <3

David and I stayed home and happily ate halloween candy instead of passing it out to kids because none came to the door. MORE FOR US!  Actually, I'm going to have Owen drop off the rest in the teacher's lounge at school. Less for us! HA! It's been a mostly quiet and uneventful week otherwise and for that we are grateful!

Hope everyone had a safe and happy halloween!

Ice Cream!

This was a treatment week.  When Dave got up in the wheelchair he was hurting pretty bad from his shoulder (damaged rotator cuff?) and his neck so I gave him some extra pain meds.  This has become pretty normal for him, his neck and shoulder are always sore but the meds he takes usually manage the pain.  On days he gets in the wheel chair it's worse because he has to stabilize those areas in different ways so the pain is different.  Anyway, the combo of the morphine boost and the lorazapam kind of knocked him out.  In the waiting room I was showing him something and he was telling me he couldn't actually focus. OOPS! It wasn't really more than he's taken in the past but the two drugs together compound each other plus when they were drawing blood he was trying to take deep breaths (because that helps the blood flow easier from the central line) and he almost hyperventilated and we think that contributed to his meds hitting him extra hard.  He gets a little goofy when he's like that so at least he's sillier than normal.  That's saying something because he's normally a little silly. Quietly silly.

You may recall that 6 weeks ago or so his central line was leaking a little and the nurse was concerned about it.  That seemed to clear itself up and then this week a couple drops of blood came out from around the tubing.  They're not doing anything except watching it and so far the actual line is working just peachy so they can still draw blood from it and inject all the things they need to inject so it's alright but we're definitely on edge about it a bit.  If it's not one thing it's another!

We finally got the results of the genetic testing back. He does indeed have the cancer gene which means Owen has a 50/50 chance of having it. We took it in stride and come to think of it we haven't even actually told Owen yet.  Not that we're hiding it from him but we have made a conscious decision to not make a big deal about it.  He already knows that there was a possibility Dad could have it and we discussed what that would mean for him but we never actually confirmed it to him. I guess we should do that soon... The doctor told us what the protocol is for testing and for cancer screenings. It's pretty aggressive if you have the gene although thankfully David won't have to go through all of that since he's already got the least common cancer you can get from the gene.  I told him he should have played the lotto instead. Anyway, they don't recommend kids get tested before 18 and the recommended screenings start between 20 and 25.  Then you have to be tested every 1-2 years.  It's known to most commonly cause colon cancer but can also cause stomach, neurological, uterine and ovarian cancers.  The screenings for everything except colon aren't very easy.  I hope by the time he gets to that age they revolutionize the way they can screen for those things.  Not that he has to worry about two of those... but we have nieces who do. I swear Auntie Marla's gonna start nagging all the nieces and nephews over 18 soon! This is their official warning (that they probably don't read). *snicker* 

Owen and I are doing pretty well. He's busy with school, national jr honor society, video games, he's walking to and from school now although we'll see what he thinks about that when it gets colder and rainier. It's about a mile each way.  I went back to my middle school to see how far my walk was and much to my chagrin it was only half a mile.  It felt like so much further when I was 12-14! He told me he is going to do the 100 pushups and 200 situps programs over the summer.  If he does those and he'll get his braces off probably by the end of 8th grade... He'll be a new man next year when he starts high school!  He is clearly motivated if he's asking if he can walk to and from school! Ugh, I just said he starts high school next year.  Our baby isn't so much a baby anymore.

Oh yeah! And speaking of braces... I'm getting them... again. actually again again.  I had them in middle school then again in high school and now as an adult.  Spendy mouth!  My ortho I had as a kid just didn't do a lot of things right, my retainers never fit right and my back teeth never fit together correctly when he was done and I ended up with all kinds of TMJ problems.  I'm really eager to see what this new dentist can do.  Nov 8th is the day.  It's funny how excited people are to get them on... then they get really excited to get them off.  The grass is always greener?  This ortho said he would put a permanent retainer on my bottom teeth.  I should have had that 20 years ago the first time I got them off! Owen said we get to be braces nerds together.  I'm going to get a box of milk duds and savor them right in front of him before I get mine on.  I'm mean like that... plus I know he'll do the same to me as soon as he gets his off.  hahaha

Nothing too exciting going on. Having an ongoing battle with Owen about getting to bed on time and we had this playful exchange the other night. (this is a repeat if we're friended on facebook)

Me:Why are you still on the computer after your bedtime?
Owen: I'm irresponsible?
Me: What do irresponsible kids get?
Owen: Ice cream!

Yup, that's our boy! 

October is Spelled R-A-I-N

We decided to go with the third party transport place and it worked out fine, it looks like we might have to do the same thing next time. I'm super frustrated but there isn't really anything we can do about it so I kind of have to roll with it.  We're still waiting to find out for sure, should know tomorrow. I have better things to worry about.

Still no word about the genetics test.  I think he gave the blood for it over a month ago and it was supposed to take 2 weeks to get back.  Last wednesday they said 4 more days and then they have to be fed-ex'd back to the dr's office and then we'll hear. So hopefully by this wednesday? It really doesn't matter one way or the other but since that is kind of looming over us we'd like a little closure.  David had treatment again and everything went mostly ok. The blood clotted in their vials again before they had a chance to process them so they had to do a second blood draw... again.  This happened a month ago or so.  His coumadin levels are right on this time.  Last time it was very high if you recall. Now it's right at 2.5 which is perfect.  Let's keep it that way. When we got home Dave took a nap and I went to watch Tim and Rose's son play in his JV football game.  They won by a landslide.  I haven't been to a high school game since my brother played many many moons ago.  It was a lot of fun, thanks for inviting me!

Owen is having a hard time keeping up with all of his homework. It's not that he gets a ton, it's that he doesn't always do all of it or he can't find it in his notebook to turn it in (messy!) or he gets a take home quiz and gets a 60%.  Seriously there's just no excuse for that. I'm kind of at my wits end. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not the most important thing in his life but we all have things we have to do and school is his only HAVE TO thing. Plus, to be morbid, if/when Dave passes he's going to want a buffer when his school work does take a backseat to whatever else is going on. I'm not incredibly concerned about that but the thought crosses my mind. When he's barely getting A's in half his classes it's a very different kid from the nearly straight A+'s he was getting before.  Well... plus he's 13 now and there are GIRLS at school. *snicker*  He even wants to start working out and asked me to get him some weights. Maybe when I go back to boot camp I'll take him with me! HA!

Speaking of... I've been slacking on the gym. On the bright side I just hit my first weight loss goal and lost all the weight I gained since David's diagnosis. About 15 lbs. (in 6ish weeks, not bad) Gaining and losing 15 lbs in a year is probably not so good for my heart I can imagine.  It's actually been really easy and I'm encouraged that it's been 95% changes in what we're eating rather than working out like a fiend.  Some day the fiend behavior will return but for now it's baby steps. I still have quite a way to go but these are sustainable changes and I think Dave and Owen benefit from the changes as well. That also makes it easier.

I've been so tired and stressed.(ironically I'd probably have more energy if I were working out and eating more but whatever..) Nothing major just a lot of little things.  Some of them not even bad things but just things that occupy space in my brain and my heart.  I think I've mentioned this before but Dave and I call it thrashing. It's a computer term that basically means there's so much going on the processor can't focus on one thing because it's swapping so much information around.  It can make the whole system freeze up and nothing really gets accomplished. We kind of froze up a little in the last week. I think things are calming down on many fronts, the stack is popping and features are functioning "as intended" and blah blah other nerdy references I could make but will spare you...  We should have rebooted... twice... ;)

I'll share something that touched my life pretty deeply this week.  How to explain... heh. When I was 16-19 I dated a guy who I ended up getting engaged to. I know, we were kids, it was ill-advised and things worked out well for us both in other directions so no hard feelings.  ANYWAY... his dad passed away just over a week ago. I was just a kid and his family really took me in. I looked to his parents as role models and truly as parents. They never treated me as less than one of their own, praising and scolding alike as any good parent does. hehe It made an impression on me then and helped me stay on a good path at a time in my life when things could have been very different. It's been a very very long time since his family has been a part of my life in any tangible way, or I theirs, but the appreciation and respect I feel for them will never change. I'll always remember Ron as a very warm, welcoming, soft-spoken, quietly hilarious man who gave good, timely advice and support whenever you needed it, especially if you didn't know you needed it. I'm glad I had the opportunity to be touched by his life and my heart hurts with their family as they grieve this loss.  I know he is missed.

So... I'm kind of done with death this year. Dear Grim Reaper, PLEASE STOP!  Love, Everyone! It would be so easy to be angry about the pile up of events but for some reason I feel the opposite. Anger really hasn't touched my mind much at all. It's more resignation. Yup, life kind of sucks, just keep swimming. It's made me more sensitive (is that possible?) and affectionate and willing to tell my friends and family how I feel about them, even if they're like please, not another mushy message! (no one actually says that) It turned off my brain to mouth filter in as far as holding things back, not in a negative way.  It encourages me to be more willing to be patient and forgiving because what if I'm not and something happens? It makes me try to be the best person I can be in whatever way I know how. I have to tell you though it's not easy. Ironically I'm the one I'm not patient and forgiving to. Anxiety sneaks in and weakness sneaks in and I've spent a couple of days in bed snuggling my boys and napping off and on and that's ok too.  It helps me be better when I'm actually awake. haha  Sometimes everyone needs to recharge in whatever way they know how.

This week it's raining. David was telling everyone that the forecast says "Rain starts friday and never ends!" He was right so far.  I guess that's what we get for having 3 or so months of NO rain.  We even had a fire warning in October. That's ridiculous. It figures it starts raining now because David's parents are going to make their way through town to visit for a bit. It will be a busy week. Owen has an ortho appointment where they are moving a couple of brackets AGAIN (does this mean they're fine tuning and he's almost done? Pretty please?), I have a PTO meeting I need to write the agenda for oh and shoot, I forgot about 2 more meetings I need to set up that I forgot about, oops. Thank goodness Dave doesn't have to go in for treatment this week!

I guess it's time to bust out the halloween movies and Dave and I's annual mandatory discussion about whether Nightmare before Christmas is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie (the answer is probably yes). I still have Monster Squad that I still haven't made Owen watch, what a classic. (not that good but I watched the heck out of it growing up) Why can't I think of any others? I'll pass on the actual "Halloween" movies. Ew, no thank you. Anyone have any halloween movie suggestions that are appropriate for a 13 year old and his parents who aren't big on gorey grossness?

No Decisions Today!

I feel like I've had no time at all to write lately. I have emails upon emails to catch up on and people I want to stay in contact with that I just haven't had time or energy to do. This is why I love texting. Part of my email issue (and my blogging issue to be honest) is that I have to do that at the computer. If I'm at the computer that means I'm not in the bedroom with David. We have an ipad and a laptop but the lappy is tiny, it's great for travel but it's not great to type on, and the ipad is just not fantastic for making long posts because you can't touch type. That sounds like I'm making excuses, mostly I'm just venting.

Since the migraine I posted about last time Dave has been doing fairly well. It took a full week to recover from the dehydration and we think his stomach shrunk because he's not eating as much.  That means his coumadin level was too high.  WAY too high.  His INR (blood thinness) is supposed to be around 2.2 ish and it was 4.4  YIKES! I even knew that was going to happen so I was giving him 1/3 of his dose for a couple of days while he wasn't eating much but it was still too much when I went back to his normal dose.  I'm glad I didn't give him the full dose the whole time. I told his nurse I did that and she didn't say I should do it any differently so I guess it wasn't a big deal that I changed his med schedule.  I think once you're on hospice they give you a lot of leeway as far as meds go.  What's the worst thing that could happen? heh, that's kind of morbid but I get the impression that's the mentality. As long as people are comfortable they're not too worried about anything else.

Treatment went pretty well last time but we were supposed to get the results back from a genetics test and when we got there, all geared up for the answer, we found out they hadn't run the test yet because of a mix up with insurance. That was a little deflating. It hadn't been pre-authorized or something.  I have confirmation now that it has and it's being run so by next appointment (next week) we should have an answer. It really doesn't matter if Dave has this bad gene but if he does it gives Owen a 50/50 chance of having it but if the Glioma is a random occurrence Owen doesn't have to ever be tested for it. We wanted to be sure before we subjected him to that someday. He'll have the chance to decide for himself if he wants to be tested after he's 18. One kind of comforting thing about it is that since David's sister has it (I don't remember if the others were tested) it means that one of their parents HAS to have it, it's not recessive. While that's scary too at least we know that you can live a good long life without ever getting cancer from it so it's not a death sentence. That's good for all the kids in the family to know when they make the decision to get tested.

One little oddity at the end of David's treatment last week was that when the nurse changed the dressing on his central line she noticed it was leaking a little. There is kind of a scab around where it goes into his chest and was just leaking fluid just a little bit.  It could just be from the scab getting bonked around when the dressing was being changed but it's something they're keeping an eye on.  Because he needs more to worry about.  It's a few months old now and they said that's not really uncommon but if it starts to fail they'll have to remove it and I'm not sure what that would mean.  Since it's torture to get an IV it might mean he's done with treatments. We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

Last night he got another migraine and got a little nauseated. I dosed him up before it had a chance to progress into what it was last time. Crisis averted although he's basically been asleep for the last 12 hours.  I'm so jealous. I'm getting about 1/3 as much sleep as he is! Friday Owen had the day off of school and I pretty much stayed in bed all day so maybe I caught up on a little. I was worried that maybe it was depression, you know where you don't even want to get out of bed? But mostly I think it's just exhaustion because normally I'm not quite that glued to the pillow.

Yesterday was a scary day. David's brother, Chris, has been having a lot of pain and was having trouble walking.  His doctor was worried about a tumor pressing on his spine and they scheduled scans for tuesday (tomorrow). Over the course of a couple of days it got so bad he ended up in the ER. After a very long day of waiting it ended up being some bulging/ruptured discs and he's having surgery this morning to fix it.  Thank goodness it's not what David has. They've been through so much they shouldn't have to go through this too. It brought it all back, everything we went through early in Dave's diagnosis, the not knowing and the fear and frustration of waiting for answers. Watching him be in excruciating pain and not being able to do anything about it no matter how many times you push the nurse call button. We obviously feel for what Chris is going through but I relate more to what Ricki is enduring. It's hard to put into words. I was so scared for them and it's such a relief that it's just his back acting up and it's something they can fix! We're praying for his quick recovery and I hope Ricki takes advantage of someone else taking care of him for a little while! Girl! Enjoy the help! 

It's been a pretty good couple of weeks besides that stuff. My Dad and Holly came over to watch the Avengers as Dave and I hadn't seen it yet. It was good to see them and spend a little time together, plus it was an awesome movie even though I almost fell asleep.  Not because it was boring, just because that's what I do during movies heh. Dave sometimes asks me, "Want to watch a movie so you can sleep?"  Owen had a science project to build a model of an atom... which I helped him with... a lot.  LOL (I hope his science teacher doesn't read this!)  He probably didn't need me to help as much as I did but we made it out of beads and wire and he didn't know how to use my beading tools. I taught him some and he directed me some. Whatever... what parent doesn't help their kids with science projects? It was fun to work on it together.  My mom came over yesterday and I painted her toe nails and she did my nails. Poor mom, I micromanaged because I'm used to doing my own nails but I just shut up and let her do it her way after a while. Someday I'll learn to give up a little control... maybe. It's been a crafty week I guess. I really want to get back into sewing, I have a few projects I need to finish including a baby quilt for my niece who is 9 months old!  It may turn into a first birthday present.  HA!

I really should write more often so I don't end up with a wall of text for every post. One last thought. I'm super frustrated this morning because hospice called to tell me that the (free) wheelchair transport we use isn't going to be able to take us next week because they have the van scheduled for something else. That means we'll have to pay for transport. The reason it's frustrating isn't because we have to pay it's because it's out of our comfort zone and consistency is kind of comforting right now at a time when most everything else changes so rapidly. It's the hospice company's own transport service but they only have one wheelchair van for people who can't transfer to a regular seat. They didn't have enough business so they just got a contract with a medicare/medicaid provider and now they're so busy and they do senior outings and such with the same van.  I don't begrudge them needing to keep their business afloat but I DO have a right to get frustrated when things don't work out conveniently. So now I have to decide if we want to use an unknown quantity for transport or try to reschedule his appointment. The hospice social worker asked if she should call back this afternoon to find out what we want to do. I told her there's no way I'm making a decision about this today and to try me back in the morning.  Yay for no decisions today! RAWR!

Migraine hangover

I think I jinxed Dave by saying his migraine was the third he's had this year and that was abnormally low because since then he's had two more! Once he gets one he tends to get a few, I think they call them cluster migraines. So he's had 3 in the last couple of weeks and this last one on monday was the worst so far.  He was sick to his stomach which just bumps up the concern a million times over because if something gets stuck in his throat he runs the risk of choking and there's no real good way for me to help him if that happens. I'm glad he only ate soft things that day! Now he's suffering from the migraine hangover. Dehydration and weakness and  being overly tired with a sensitive stomach.  Poor guy. I guess I'll baby him a bit longer. ;) (he soaks the attention right up!)

On top of that he didn't take his advil for his neck and shoulder aches and pains because his stomach has been bothering him.  Small meals, sips of water and ginger ale (and a little dr pepper) but he can't take much else so far. The lack of advil is easier on his stomach but not so great on the rest of him.  The massage nurse came today and helped him relax a bit.  I love when she comes, she does such a good job working out some of his kinks.

Owen is plugging away at school, doing great so far. He had an orthodontist appointment last week and his teeth are looking stellar although he needs to brush a little better. *mom glare* I'm trying to help him be more organized for school and he's coming up with ways to keep himself organized. It always works better when he participates in the solution.

I've been... tired.  Really tired and not sleeping well.  Melatonin has helped a little but it makes it hard for me to wake up in the middle of the night to turn Dave so if I don't take it by 10 or 11 I can't take it or it screws me all up.  We take a lot of naps these days. Maybe it's because I started on a more healthy diet.  We've only had non-homemade food once in the last 2 weeks! That's some kind of record around here. It's good food but it's severely less calories than before which is good for all of us, it just provides for a little less energy. I'm sure my body will get used to it soon but for now the gym is on hold so I don't completely fry myself.  I realize this isn't the best time to start a program like this but I have to take care of myself and the dr I talked to suggested that at least food is something I can control in an otherwise uncontrollable situation.  TRUE! I'm supposed to keep a food journal but that is hard, using the myfitnesspal app makes it a lot easier so I'm doing that instead! Easier is good. Oh and to make things more fun I think I pulled a muscle in my side/back.  Actually it kind of feels like I got kidney punched on my right side but I'm pretty sure it's muscular. Unpleasant at best. Maybe I should be taking the advil!

I got some books from the library and one that I happened upon was "How to Feed Your Teenaged Son" or something like that.  Owen claimed that if it didn't say "With a shovel" it probably wasn't accurate.  Seriously, he's such a goat these days. I started getting milk from Costco (2 gallons at a time) because if I get one at a time I end up at the store every couple of days. I got some other books about healthy eating and terminal illness/caregiving and yoga.  Actually the yoga book is called "Yoga for Anxiety" and I thought it was funny to be walking around with caregiving books and a yoga for anxiety book.  If the library was amazon the books would probably be listed under the "people who bought this book also bought... " section.

We've noticed that it's getting harder to stay upbeat. I don't mean for this to sound all depressed because it's not so much that but I've noticed I cry a lot more easily these days. (For anyone who has known me since I was young this is no surprise) I think it's just wearing on us and we've noticed it a bit in Owen as well. Not the crying because he's a big tough man-child now but the obvious stress that bursts out of him on occasion. I'm not sure how much of that is the thirteenness and how much is the stress of David being sick and me not being as ever-present in his activities.  We're present, just not quite as much as we were before and we still spend time together as a family and talk a lot... I mean A LOT.  I'm so proud of the young man he's becoming and his ability to express his emotions even if he doesn't do it until I corner him.  HA! He was doomed to be fraught with emotion having me as a mother. At least he still talks when needed and I'm appreciative of that.  I hope that trend continues. 

Your Platelets are low... JUST KIDDING!

Dave and I started hanging out with Tim and Rose a little over 15 years ago.  That would make their three oldest kids about 6, 5 and 3.  They were on this kick where they were always "Kidding" about things. Even things that weren't actually jokes which are our favorite ones, like, "Have you seen the skating movie? JUST KIDDING" (the skating movie = The Cutting Edge.  Random, yes.) That is definitely how we felt this week after the visit with the doctor.  Oh, Have you seen how low your platelets are? JUST KIDDING! It's all the lab's fault.  Here we were wondering what combo of meds he's on that are making his platelets drop. We even talked to my uncle who is a pharmacist and he cleared up some things that the evil internet was wrong about, go figure.  We were a little baffled and then the dr said it has basically been a series of lab errors that make it look like his platelets are low.  After having them retested at a different lab and then recalibrating their test they decided that it's a lab problem not a david's blood problem. That would have been good to know since I was kind of on high alert and half expecting him to bleed out at any moment.  Me? Dramatic? I have no idea what you're talking about... *whistles*  We did increase his pain meds this week so he's now on 60 mg of MS Contin instead of 30 but really it's not a huge increase because he was taking enough liquid morphine doses to make up the difference.  This way he's getting an even dose instead of fluctuating doses.

So tomorrow/today is labor day.  School starts for Owen the day after, 8th grade. It's the first year I'm not at all excited for him to go to school. Not even a little. It's been so nice having him home this summer and he's been a tremendous help. I'm glad for him though, kids don't need that burden on their shoulders but it's awfully nice that he's old/mature/capable enough to lend a hand when needed.
On top of the just not having him here during the day there's the little added bonus of the district not running bus service.  We live about 3/4 of a mile from the school which isn't really bad for walking
except that we live on the opposite side of a 5 lane busy street from the school.  There are LOTS of other kids who fall in that same category who also took the bus, a couple of whom have talked about carpooling. I walked to and from middle school probably 90% of the time and I lived further than 3/4 of a mile but it was backstreets and no big deal. Ok... now I'm going to have to drive by there and clock it next time I'm down in that part of town, it might have been only about a mile or so but in my memory it was much further! uphill... in the snow and all that. Right now it's not a huge deal to drive him but as time goes on there will be days I can't/don't want to leave the house.  Oh and to top it off I forgot school started tuesday so I made an appointment for me for 2:00 and he gets out of school at 2:30.  Oops. So much for my summer scheduling where I think "oh yeah, I can't do that during the day, owen will be home"  Doh. Time to retrain my brain!

Dave is doing mostly ok except for a migraine yesterday. We figured it's probably the third one he's had in the last 8 months.  That's some kind of record for him, normally he got a lot more than that.
I'm always afraid to give him his imitrex because the first time I did that he had seizures the next day.  Totally unrelated but it still gives me a mental block.  He took his meds and napped for a bit and today he was much better so no worries. He had treatment on wednesday, where we found out about the platelet non-issue.

I only made it to the gym once last week. Not exactly my plan but with dr's appointments and errands that needed to be run and migraines and laundry and Owen had a party to go to and well... after doing those things I felt bad about being away from the house as much as I was taking care of business that I didn't want to leave again to go to the gym. Excuses, excuses. I'll do better this week!

The party Owen went to was such a cute idea! My friend Rachel has 4 kids, the two oldest girls are Owen's age and a sophomore in HS.  They had a Hunger Games party in their backyard where they projected the movie on the back of the house and all the kids brought chairs and blankets etc etc and laid out back and watched the movie.  They're brave, when I dropped owen off there were kids EVERYWHERE! My best guess is around 50 and I know some got there after I left. The kids were asked to bring snacks or drinks to share so Owen brought Pita Chips and Sun Dried Tomato Hummus. Only fans of the story would appreciate this but he put tape over the labels and wrote "Peeta Chips" and "Sun Dried Tomato Haymitch" (two of the characters names from the book/movie)
When he showed me he was beside himself giggling.  We both laughed about it all the way over to their house. I'm glad he's as easily amused as I am!  He had to call me before the movie was over because he had a stomach ache.  Too much junk food for Owen! HA! That's what being a kid is all about, right?

That reminds me of the time..... We have a tradition that we go to parent/teacher conferences and if all is well (which it always is) we go out for Dairy Queen. Every time he would beg and beg to get a banana split and we always told him it was too big and to pick something smaller so finally we caved and let him get one. I think it was 4th grade maybe. So he ate it, the whole thing, all three mounds and the toppings and the bananas and ALL the whipped cream and the cherries.  All of it.  His stomach was puffed out and when we rubbed it we could feel the cold on the OUTSIDE of his stomach.  Yes, the outside of his stomach was cold.  And then he said he didn't feel well, go figure... then he ran to the bathroom and proceed to throw up most, if not all, of the banana split. I'm glad he chewed the bananas.  Dave and I silently laughed heartily but gave him the appropriate amount of mock sympathy when necessary. It's one of those things that sometimes you have to learn the hard way, he's never asked for a banana split again although I'm sure his big teen stomach could probably handle it these days. Don't give him any ideas. At least Farrells isn't in town anymore, I'm having high school flashbacks to the two guys who ate the zoo all by themselves and threw the whole thing up. 19 scoops of ice cream is not intended for two people!

Speaking of big teen things, I just bought him new shoes.  He wears WIDE 11 1/2, yes, in mens! Dave only wears a 10 1/2.  He's got the wide Hernandez feet and the big Wach feet, poor guy.  The cashier said she felt sorry for him because its' going to get hard for him to find shoes.  Shhh, lady!  He's going to be a monster.  He did tell me when he was two that he was going to have very big feet.  He says it's a fulfilled prophecy.

Thursday is Dave and my 15 year anniversary. YAY! We honestly didn't think he was going to make it this far but here we are a few days away. We're ordering a cake from Sweet Life, the bakery we got our wedding cake from 15 years ago. They were just two sisters working out of a garage back then and now they are a very very busy store front. For our 9th anniversary we forgot to order a custom cake so I went during the day to pick up a cake to surprise Dave, just whatever looked good in their bakery case.  Then Dave came home from work and yelled for me to come to the kitchen.  In the kitchen I found him laughing with two cake boxes on the counter, he got one to surprise me too! Then I realized that he DIDN'T take my cake out of the fridge and he actually got two small cakes because he couldn't decide between them so in reality we had gotten THREE small cakes from the same bakery, luckily none of them were the same flavors. To us, the 9th anniversary will always be known as the three cakes anniversary.

We don't have any big plans to do anything but be thankful. Sometimes we need moments like that, especially with how rushed people are to get things done.  We find ourselves caught up in the day to day stuff and sometimes we have to stop for a minute to just hold hands and talk and be present. Being present is such a present. (HA! that was super cheesy)

Can't Post... Watching Olympics...

August is more than halfway over and I haven't even posted yet!  I'm slacking apparently.  It's not like I have anything else to do. ;)  Actually I've been wanting to write but I haven't been able to find time to sit down and put down my thoughts.  I'm a little (more) scatterbrained (than usual) lately.  Oh and also we watched pretty much every minute of the Olympics that NBC had to offer... even if a lot of it was fast-forwarded through.  We determined that Volleyball and Waterpolo are way more amusing when you speed through them.  We'd also like to note that trampoline and rhythmic gymnastics are Olympic sports?  Hruhwhat? Why isn't Golf? or Cheerleading?  Although trampoline was super super fun in fast-motion. Also not that we want to watch golf, just sayin.

We're doing ok, status quo I suppose. Owen is off on a whirlwind trip to the coast with my mom's side of the family.  I left Uncle Jaeger strict instructions to be his go-to guy although I know everyone will keep an eye on him.  He's tall(er than me) now and is wearing a touristy grey plaid hat, he's hard to miss.  It's the first time he's been away from us for a whole long weekend all summer, I miss him already and I think he's probably still at Nana's house waiting for the wagon train to hit the trail. I hope he has fun, I'm glad he gets this chance to get out of the house a little before school starts on the 4th.  8th grade.  Yikes.

Dave is doing as well as can be expected.  The last time (2 weeks ago) he went in for chemo we followed up with Dr Sharman about when to stop treatment.  He mentioned a couple of things the other dr didn't bring up.  He said once he stops the Avastin they tend to see quick growth of the tumor, quicker than if he hadn't taken it.  He called it a rebound of the tumor but it sounds kind of like a flood gate has been holding the tumor back and once the avastin is out of his system the flood gates open and the tumor grows quickly.  That might sound scary but to David it's a blessing since he's going to take that medicine until he isn't allowed to take it anymore because his body is too weak.  At that point he wants everything to go quickly.  The dr also said at that point he likely won't be able to use his arms anymore and if he doesn't actually WANT to eat he doesn't have to.  Not that it will be starving himself because his body won't need as much nutrition, that also relieved Dave because we're concerned about him choking and he doesn't want to have to be fed and those kinds of things.  It sounds like those are all negatives but he left the office somewhat giddy.  As cheerful as I've seen him all year really.

This last appointment (this week) his platelets are a little lower than they'd like them to be.  That can be caused by a few of the medications he's taking but they aren't really things we think he can go off of, including the Avastin.  So far they're letting him stay on Avastin, we'll see how long that lasts.  The platelet range they list as "normal" for this lab is 130-400.  In the last few visits his have been 82, 134, 77, 59 (hut, hut, hike!) we're not sure how low they are comfortable with that being as long as he doesn't really have other symptoms like random bleeding, which is a concern.  There isn't much we can do to raise that level.  His white blood count is still pretty good and in the normal range so they aren't worried too much. 

Next time he goes in he's also going to talk to the geneticist to start the process to find out if he actually has the Lynch gene that his family carries.  We started thinking this might be something totally random since Lynch normally causes colon cancer.  It's entirely possible that he has it but we figured the responsible thing to do for Owen would be to find out for sure.  It's odd how tests like that can cause a little anxiety even though we already know whether or not he has cancer.

I'm doing alright. I feel really busy.  I started back at the gym this month, I've been going at least twice a week.  Not bootcamp yet but cardio and some light weights so far.  It's like starting over and I'm sore so I know I'm doing a fair amount of stuff.  My trainer had a picture on his website saying, "Someone busier than you is working out right now"  I know it wasn't aimed directly at me but it got me thinking "I could be at the gym instead of watching tv right now" although sometimes I CAN'T be at the gym but you know... it just made me think so I finally did something about it.  I'm not sleeping well and that doesn't help with having energy to workout either.  That's not really new for me, insomnia, I think I sleep better during naps than I do at night because at night little noises wake me up.  During the day I guess I'm confident things are ok and I zonk out. hehe  probably the naps are part of why I don't sleep well at night but I'm not going to complain about quality naps.  Yesterday I treated myself to a long massage.  I'm a little sore today actually but that means she did a good job, right?

I'm going to skip the journal entry for right now because I'm eager to go pester my husband again.  He can't catch a break! I will share a convo Owen and I had the other day.  His best girl-pal's mom and I have been brainstorming their 8th grade dance theme.  We know we'll be two of the more involved parents so we're coming up with ideas. It prompted this convo with Owen.

Me: (totally joking) *gasp* you could have a Twilight dance!
Owen: We could have a jump-off-a-cliff dance, it would be equally as popular. We could do what all the girls are derping about and have a Hunger Games dance.
Me: We wouldn't want you to kill each other.
Owen: We would kill each other if we had a Twilight dance.

He's so quick witted.  He's going to keep everyone on their toes this weekend!